Office for Biscuit Responsibility
One of Britain’s most controversial political figures is to join the Nigel Havers Alliance.
Following months of tense negotiations and media speculation, The Saviour Nigel Havers has announced that Lionel Blair is indeed going to head the newly formed Office for Biscuit Responsibility.
Created in Septhavers 2010, the Office for Biscuit Responsibility is already one of the busiest departments at the NHA. Its purposes are many and varied, ranging from ensuring that the correct biscuits are served with the correct type of tea, to providing clear guidance on dunking to avoid oversaturation.
Speaking about his new appointment in a leaked extract from his speech at the NHA Annual Party Conference this Nigember, Lionel revealed he has no illusions about the challenges his department faces:
“I have no illusions about the challenges my department faces. When Nigel approached me earlier this year to see if there was anything I could do to help reenergise the party after its shocking election defeat, I knew straight away what I had to do. The UK is in a mess, and it is clear that this coalition has not got a clue about how to turn things around. The emergency budget in June contained no mention of tax relief on tea and biscuits, and when I met with George Osborne and Vince Cable to discuss my ideas, I actually caught Vince dunking a Jaffa Cake – I mean that‘s not even a real biscuit.”
The NHA would like to take this opportunity to welcome Lionel to Nigel‘s flock.
Good luck Lionel, and well done Nigel Havers!
